I have talked to many people that have told me that they don’t need anyone. I know that this statement comes out of hurts or out of wounds they have received from past relationships.  I still desire to talk with them and they just say a thing like “just leave me alone”. We are all created for relationships, in Genesis God states “it’s not good for man to be alone” we are dependent on one another.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

This is true throughout both the Old and New Testaments Jesus sent His disciples out into the harvest by twos for this same reason. 

The pains you feel from any of those previous hurts are valid and building trust again is very difficult and hard. I have been previously hurt by different situations within the church, a place where you should be safe. These hurts have come from leaders, members and even a pastor or two. Some of these hurts were superficial some were severe. So in both cases, I need to seek forgiveness and healing.  In one of these sessions, I had a minister share with me that “forgiveness is on me but trust is on them”.

There was a time in my life where one of the more severe hurt was by a former pastor the wounds when deep.  I walked through the forgiveness process, extending forgiveness towards that pastor. The forgiveness was complete and I could share and remember the events without feeling the hurt any more. I did not go to this pastor and try to get them to see their error, I just forgave. 

God then placed a new set of pastors in my life. When we started attending their church I told them that “we would like to attend but not join, because I did not trust pastors”. We were planning on moving out of state, and just waiting for things to get aline. They just poured out God’s love for the next six to eight months.

One day within that six to eight months, my wife stated she believe we were not to move out of state and should stay in Battle Creek. We when to the new pastors and told them. “we are staying in Michigan, we would like them to be our pastors, but we still don’t trust pastors”. They accepted us where we were, continuing to love us until trust was built. We have stayed in a relationship with them for over 22 years with them being our pastors for almost all of that time.  

Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:25 ESV

The scripture above tells us to “assembling together”, and I know and believe that is true. When the perpetrator of the hurt and broken trust is in authority over you, what can you do?

With superficial hurts, you may need to walk through the process of forgiveness while staying within the environment where the hurt happens. If the process works, as God intended there will be healing for both you and the perpetrator and both will be made whole.

If the hurt is severe, and only you know what is severe. You will need to remove yourself from that environment (school, church, team, etc). You must protect yourself first, then began the forgiveness process way from the perpetrator and location. This does not give you a pass on the Hebrews 10:25 God wants us to “meet together” so that you can be encouraged, loved and healed.

We are also liken to animals that thrive in herds, it is dangerous to be alone or separated from the herd these ones are more susceptible to being attacked by predators. I had to find another church/pastors to be able to receive my full healing.

Application 

• Find a fellowship of believers to join yourself to them
• Acknowledge any hurts and seek for forgiveness, remembering that forgiveness is on you but trust is on them
• Trust can only be built while in a relationships